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Coping with the Stress of Aliya

Submitted by michalm on Thu, 04/11/2010 - 09:17.
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[Source : Raphael Ahren of Ha'Aretz ] - Olim are naturally occupied with searching for useful information concerning the practical issues of aliya. These issues concern housing, employment and finances etc. The personal and emotional issues involved in the aliya process are more often than not overlooked.

One neglected aspect of the aliya process is the fact that it can be a major factor in causing stress. Stress being the confusion experienced when one feels totally out of control for a prolonged period.

In the pre-aliya period we live in a more or less balanced relationship with our selves, our family, our community and our livelihood. Aliya can profoundly affect the balance of these relationships.

 
The change from a South African environment to an Israeli environment demands that one face changes in all aspects of one’s life. The oleh will experience a change in climate, a change in diet, a change in the political reality, economic changes and a change in place of employment. He/she will experience a change in friends, neighbors and place of worship.
 
One must be prepared for changes in ones own behavior as one is faced with different values and a different way of life.
 
The above adjustments are common to all immigrants and as today’s olim join a stream of immigration to Israelthat began with the first aliya in 1882.
 
What is special about aliya that is different from other immigrant experiences? Immigrants to Israel differ from other immigrants because they belong to the same national entity as the absorbing Israeli society, the Jewish people. This cannot be said of ones ancestors who came from Lithuania to South Africa, or of family and friends who have immigrated to other countries.
 
The question is: are olim immigrants or native foreigners?
 
Israel’s stated national goal is to be the homeland for every Jew in the world. The presumably shared identity of immigrants and veterans, arouses expectations among immigrants that they will be welcomed as “homecoming kinsmen”, and that they will feel more at home in Israel than they did in their countries of origin. In reality, this is not always true.
 
Although aliya is declared as the primary goal of Zionism, not all of today’s Israelis believe that the ingathering of the exiles should be a national goal. Olim can find this perplexing.
 
Because Israel is a welfare state, it is responsible for the well-being of its residents including citizen’s health, unemployment and insured income. Native or veteran Israelis may see immigrants as a strain on the resources available for these services.
 
Israeli cultural behavior is different than in South Africa. For example not stopping at a “red robot” at night in Tel Aviv may get you a traffic ticket. Israeli’s may be offended if you don’t talk to them while waiting in line because in South Africa one does not speak to strangers.
 
Olim may not be aware of the ethnic tensions in Israeli society which exist between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews, between the religious and non-religious and between Jews and non-Jews.
 
There are personal factors which affect the immigration and absorption process. These are one’s own expectations of oneself and one’s expectations of the absorbing society.
 
The above issues can easily lead the individual oleh/olah to a state of stress. As the euphoria of arriving in Israel decreases the stress of aliya increases.  This stressful period will continue until the individual readjusts and life returns to a balanced state.
 
How does one best cope with this stress? Actually it is the individuals own strengths that have proven to be the best tools in coping with aliya stress. These traits and talents include ones self-esteem, education, skills, knowledge, experience, cultural characteristics and financial resources. If one believes in oneself and in one’s capacity to succeed, the chances of success increase, or more simply “the power of positive thinking” really can work. This includes positive thinking about oneself and positive thinking about Israel.
 
Studies of immigration show that, more than all other aspects, the more the immigrant sees the positive side of the absorbing society, the more successful will be his/her readjustment.
 
South African olim in Israel will need to cultivate flexibility. If one strategy does not work, try another. Understand that the “South African” way of doing things is not always going to work in Israel. Aliya means that sometimes you will have to settle for second best or do things because you have to, not because you want to. Flexibility will expose you to options that could lead you to results that you could never have imagined.
 
One can ease the aliya process by building a supportive social network. It is important to stay in touch with family and friends but one should establish new social networks in one’s new community. For example by joining a local gym or getting involved in a volunteer project. This will give the oleh/olah the opportunity to practice Hebrew and to meet people who do what they like to do.
 
It must be acknowledged that immigration is tough. The immigrant has left friends, family, a job, a home, familiarity and routine. He/she has left a situation of knowing the basic information needed to cope with day to day tasks, for a situation of not knowing for example, where to shop, what to buy and no language skills to get that information. This is not easy yet this situation passes with time and remember, nobody makes aliya because it is easy.
 
Immigration is one of the top life stresses along with divorce, major illness or death of a loved one. In some cases the stress of immigration can result in anxiety, sleep disruption, depression, relationship strain, physical illness and an increase in addictive behaviors. Most immigrants suffer from mild symptoms of the above. If they persist and/or become severe, help should be sought through professional assistance.
 
The family that immigrates with children is particularly challenged. Children who have migrated are children at risk. The “crisis of aliya” will be experienced differently by each child. Beginning school with no language skills and no social support system can be crushing. Parents must be aware of their children as individuals with their own specific needs. Children can express their stress through depression or aggressive or other maladaptive behaviors; actually, similar to adults.
 
In families parents and children are separately and together experiencing aliya stress. This may have a profound affect on the parent/child relationship.
 
Often, immigrant parents maintain their identification with the norms of their country of birth whereas their children are absorbing the norms of the absorbing society, particularly in the case of adolescents. This can lead children to conflict within the family. Immigrant parents who do not learn Hebrew may need to rely on their children to help them communicate with the wider community and official bureaucracy. This can positively affect the child’s self esteem but it can also upset the traditional family hierarchies.
 
In conclusion, one can expect immigration to be an all encompassing process which can become extremely stressful. Recognizing the causes of this stress and learning to cope with it will only ease the process.
 
Citations:
 
  1. Ben Sira, Zeev Immigration Stress and Readjustment Greenwood Press, Westport CT, 1997.
  2. Richard, Dr. Katie “Coping with Immigration Stress” Sabona the mag for Southern Africans in OZ (Sabona.com.au)
  3. Richard, Dr. Katie “When Sadness Turns into Depression” Sabona the mag for Southern Africans in OZ (Sabona.com.au)
 
 Contact Telfed on aliya-related issues and speak to Susan Sharon 09 7907804
 
 
 
 
 

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